📘🎮 The Dad Gaming appreciation post
On the importance of community, and video games as a bonding tool for parents
Previously on “The Dad Story”:
The Dad team had two goals, and those goals are the same now as they were on Day 1: to entertain and to build an inclusive community that celebrates modern involved fatherhood. ENTERTAINMENT and COMMUNITY, ENTERTAINMENT and COMMUNITY, ENTERTAINMENT and COMMUNITY. I think all positive digital media lifestyle brands should strive for these, but they were our guiding light in everything we did/do.
If someone is entertained, they’ll press the “I’m entertained” (like) button. That goal was easy to measure. Community is more subjective. We knew we were doing a good job in community if we got comments/emails/messages like this:
I’m a girl, mom, feminist. I have four young men 18-27 and if they turn into anything like the ppl behind the content of this site I will be the proudest mom in the world ❤️ You really are a mom’s dream of what men can be: strong, masculine, witty and vulnerable, compassionate... Bravo.
– Linnie Marie
We wanted to literally change the perception of fatherhood in a positive way. Even if only the smallest bit, that’s meaningful. If people are more excited to embrace the dad role, that’s huge.
Community is also about bringing people together. It’s about connecting people with common interests and common struggles, so that they know they aren’t alone.
I played a ton of video games as a kid. I stopped in college because life got in the way. In 2018 I “bought my kids” a Nintendo Switch. (“Bought my kids” is in quotations because it was really for me.)
No really it was for all of us. I literally bought it with the intention of using it as a bonding tool.
When I was a kid my older brother and I stayed up all night beating the original Final Fantasy. Just looking at screenshots of the gameplay overwhelms me with nostalgia. It’s indescribable. The memories are powerful and I’ll cherish them always.
(Even if you’ve never played video games, I bet you have an equivalent nostalgic experience.)
I wanted that with my kids.
So I bought them a Nintendo Switch and Zelda Breath of the Wild. It exceeded my wildest expectations. We’d sit together and work through the storyline and explore the open world a little bit each night. We’d laugh, we’d struggle, we’d triumph.
20 years from now, when they’re playing 1000k 600fps super ultra HD augmented reality games, they’ll think back and remember the time they beat Zelda Breath of the Wild with their dad. That’s what it’s all about.
(Actual photo from the moment we beat Ganon.)
Video games get a bad rap as an isolating experience. I’ve found them to be the exact opposite. When done right, they bring people together in a positive way that’s tough to match with any other experience.
I started playing Fortnite with my son. We loved it. In between strategic maneuvering and combat, we’d chat about our days. If you want to get your kid to say more than “fine” when you ask, “how was school?”, try asking them while squadding up with them in Fortnite duos.
I suck at Fortnite. I’d get rocked. I was on the island with 99 other players, most of whom seemed to be 11 year olds with something to prove. I thought, wouldn’t it be amazing to play a round of Fortnite, but with only people in The Dad community?
EPIC Games approved us for hosting private lobbies and The Dad Gaming was born.
The first Fortnite event was August 22, 2019. Random strangers were laughing with each other, talking back and forth, bonding, laughing. I immediately realized we were onto something.
Very first comment:
And the last comment of the night:
There were even calls for custom The Dad Gaming esports jerseys. WHAT?! That’s absurd.
[”LOST” RESUME-TO-PRESENT TIMELINE FLASHBACK WHOOSHING SOUND]
I’ve never in my life seen anything like The Dad Gaming. We created it right before a pandemic struck. It gave a ton of people exactly what they needed in a difficult time: community.
We ran weekly Fortnite events, a Mario Kart league, and weekly Rocket League tournaments.
The Fortnite events are still going strong. There was a parent/kid event a few days ago.
We are in the midst of Season 28 (!) of the Mario Kart League. (I say “we” even though I don’t work for The Dad anymore, because I still race in the league.)
Last week’s Rocket League tournament was the 141st IN A ROW!!! 😮
The community isn’t just in the gaming, it’s in the experiences that the shared interest enables. People go to The Dad Gaming group first when they want to celebrate life’s greatest moments, or when they want support during life’s most tragic moments. That is what community is all about. That is social media’s highest aspiration.
When I pulled up that original Fortnite event to get the comments above and I saw the first comment and the last comment were from Dale Stokes, I got chills.
After that inaugural event, Dale went on to become a beloved member of the community, especially within the Rocket League group.
In September 2021, Dale unexpectedly passed away.
As much as I talk about positivity and celebration. Life can be tragic and heartbreaking. The measure of community is how it rallies in those times. The Dad Gaming group came together to raise money for his family. The Rocket League admins put together a lovely and fitting tribute for Dale, dedicating the Week 102 to him, cutting together a tribute video, and eulogizing him live on Twitch. I’ll always remember watching from my home office, tears streaming down my face.
His family was watching too.
It’s more than “just video games.”
Whatever your thing is: gaming, sports, books, basketweaving… Find your people and connect with them.
Parenting is ridiculously hard, sometimes it feels impossible. It feels like you must be the only person who has ever gone through it. Digital communities give parents a place to go in the tough times.
Getting help and support looks different to different people. Some people say, “I’m struggling. Tell me I’m not alone.”
Some people join a Mario Kart league, and exchange friendly trash talk on Discord while readying up for Rainbow Road.
